Freedom and tension

I’ve been thinking about freedom. And how that really is all that we want. I want freedom to move in a way that I see fit, to stretch the boundaries of what is enjoyable and the freedom to stop and rest when stopping and resting feels like a choice. The people I admire the most, that seem the wisest to me, are the ones I perceive to be free. It’s hard to be free in a physical sense without being free in all senses, although the really clever people can somehow demonstrate freedom despite the limitations of their body. 

Sometimes ideas can literally restrict physical movement. Occasionally I see people who wear the idea of frailty like stiff armour of some kind. The fear of movement traps not just individual joints, but their body as a whole, and so moving well is hindered by the perception that staying immobile is somehow keeping them safe. 

When I’m feeling like I need some inspiration to uncurl from the ball on the sofa, I find myself watching dancers on Instagram. There are some technical geniuses, those that can execute difficult moves that earn them the respect of the dance community. But, every now and then, I watch dancers who seem to have the beautiful balance of strength, flexibility, techqnique and expression, and they look free, moving like water – almost not human, but part of some other natural force. 

I can’t really remember where this thought came from, it might have been my own unstable joints, or it might have been one of my clients, but it occurred to me that sometimes, working with a little bit of resistance improves the quality and freedom of a movement. Maybe there is a requirement for some tension in order to be free. If we remain ‘all in’, colours to the mast to an unmoving albeit stable structure, well, there we will remain. Stationary. Sedentary. And for some that might be fulfilling enough, but it isn’t for me. I’m talking about institutions, belief systems, values as well as physical ideas of ‘stability’, routine, ‘fitness’ goals and targets. These rules are things I have sought for much of my younger life. Because there is safety in belonging and aligning with a set of values, meeting a community who provide a sense of structure. But sometimes, the structure prevents growth.

In movement therapy, we talk about the goldilocks amount of support that a movement requires for it to allow freedom within a joint’s natural range. It’s interesting to me that support/resistance is a requirement for freedom. People who are hyper mobile, with joints that have insufficient intrinsic support are not always free in their movements despite their excessive range. Their ligaments allow a lot of potential range but also a greater risk of injury. This can lead to fear of movement and unhealthy tension which in turn leads to joints not moving as effectively as they should. Many joints might be loose, like an un manned puppet, to move well they might need the feedback from external ‘support’, in other words – mild resistance. If you have no boundary to move up to, how will you know when too far is too far? Structures of support really do keep us safe.

So how do we know when an idea, an institution (family, church, marriage, friendship), or….. a resistance band is a goldilocks level of support?  The support needs to be not so much that it prevents movement, and not so little that allows movement to go beyond what it safe. How do we find the “just right”.

1. Is this structure designed to help you to flourish? Is movement expected?
2. Does the structure move? Is it made of steel or bamboo? A too rigid structure is just as fragile as loose one. 
3. Does this structure allow you to be more yourself, or less?
4. Do the boundaries move with you. As you become more free and more independent, can some of the support structures be removed and others put in place.
5. Are you able to be a strut in a supportive structure to someone else.

(ohmygosh the top 3 points also apply to your underwear!).

Back to thinking about joint structures on the inside. In terms of movement therapy, I want my clients to be better at being themselves, because they have spent devoted time each week noticing where there is freedom and where there isn’t. I want to provide the environment, space, routine, equipment to be the right amount of support to feel safe exploring a wider range.

In terms of the institutions I represent, family, marriage, friendship, church, and the workplace, I want to be flexible enough for others to become more of who they are and explore their own freedom. I want those structures to allow me to become more of myself. I will notice if I’m being held too tight or too loose. I want to notice that on behalf of others too.

I’m not sure how far this analogy can go, but let’s try this on. There is safety and strength in a sense of opposition. The tension / tensegrity provided by a structure reaching and stretching in opposing directions creates a solid support for the moving parts within the structure. When you are reaching forward and back at the same time, with an equal amount of energy in both directions, what you find is the centre – a sense of balance. I wonder if this works with thoughts and ideas too. The ability to hold two opposite ideas at the same time is liberating because it allows for so much movement within the safety of the ligamental support that comes from reaching to the extremes. The ‘yes, both, and’ attitude to life. Grief and joy often go hand in hand. Frustration and comedy is a line I’m constantly walking. There is safety because the other extreme is pulling in opposing direction just as hard and what you ultimately find is a well supported centre.

I haven’t really finished forming these thoughts but it’s exciting to think that the bodies we live in have so much to teach us about the structures and systems in the world around us and how best to be a part of them.